Put Up a Good Fight.

                                                  

 Usually when I hear the term Put up a good fight; the first thing that comes to my mind is someone engaging in a physical fight with another person, you know like trying to fight for your right or for what you believe. I dare say I was wrong in thinking putting up a good fight is about fighting physically. Definitely in Physical combat or battles, the term putting up a good fight is often used in describing how well one party fought the opponent etc. But it will be totally erroneous to think it’s all about a physical fight.

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines Putting up a good fight as trying very hard to do what is right; to put Forth a Determined Effort. To contend in a battle or physical Combat. The definition that got my attention is’’ Putting Forth a Determined Effort’’ This definition best describes the word in the sense that we all have our various battles in life that we face and have to win. Some are challenges in Finances, family relationships or Work related challenges, relationships between a boss and an employee, vice versa, marital relationship, family issues etc, and the list is endless. These are battles we face daily and we have to find a way to live above all these issues. 

I remember growing up, how challenges usually overwhelms me, am not a confrontational person, and when faced with an issue or controversy, the first thing that comes to my mind is to run away from the issue. I try to always avoid issues, and I ended up being a people pleaser only because I want peace to reign. I will usually just say my mind in a very timid way, like am not even sure of myself or my opinion most times, and when someone stands firm against my opinion, I will just throw in the towel. Giving up on people became my second nature, I gave up on things, dreams that I should have pursued all because I didn’t put up a good fight. I didn’t put forth a determined effort to make my opinions, objections or request clear enough. 

Certainly, is not every issue that you need to insist on, some family decisions and personal relationship issues needs compromise and discretion, but in some cases when there is a clear selfish conflict of Interest, one needs to be determined not to be swayed. I had to consciously learn to put up a good fight by standing firm on what I want, so I don’t become a walk over, because in the process of being the peace maker and sacrificial lamb, I realised that I was becoming a walkover, less happy or fulfilled and even relegated to being a weakling. 

The first thing I decided to do was to make sure that when I express myself I sound Firm enough, because of my soft and calm voice, I have to make sure my voice is firm and strong enough, so the person am talking to can understand that am quite serious about what am saying, I don’t need to raise my voice or engage in a physical fight to prove my point, but I can sound very firm and super sure of myself that my stature and countenance speaks Confidence and Seriousness. I learnt so fast the effect of voice tone in communication, your voice tone while communicating can pass a message differently than what you intended it to pass, your voice tone can make you come out as being rude, harsh or either scared or firm. So I decided to be conscious of this while communicating, so I don’t come across as rude or scared but rather Firm.

Secondly, I decided to put up my serious look. I have a smiley face and smile so easy so often, that people think am so nice and always happy, to the extent that when am looking so serious, they ask if am angry at someone. But basically I had to put up a straight face and have eye contact as i communicate. It’s important to have eye contact as you discuss your opinion, it makes the person listening to you understand that you are sure of what you are saying, especially in an interview, it shows the  interviewer that you are assured of yourself, and you know what you are saying. You will be seen as someone that has confidence, and when you shake hands, shake hand firmly and also have eye contact while you do that, and if you are good at long glances, by all means stare on as long as you want, only that some people might find you creepy; or become uncomfortable if you keep staring for long, while some could be intimidated, and just give in to your demands; this trick is useful when negotiating.

Thirdly I learnt to Choose my battles wisely, so I don’t come out as being an Aggressive person or a bitter person, it’s not every issue that needs to be addressed, and not every battle that needs to be fought immediately, you leave some to fight another day. Here you need the wisdom of God to help you discern to know how to pick your battles, because you might end up losing the battle with your face flat down and your wings clipped and that means you won’t be able to fly again. Especially at work, this can be very tricky, because you don’t want to be relegated to the background, you want to be relevant at your place of work, you want to be respected and trusted, and you want to be seen as someone that is accountable and reliable. So many times you need to defend yourself so as not to be misinterpreted, you need to prove yourself most times, because it’s usually a competition at work. Sometimes you will need to stand up to your boss; this is where the wisdom of God needs to come in, so that you don’t lose your job or be labelled as the Demon, or the Black Sheep in the Office.

There is always a twist to being confrontational, sometimes it backfires, and sometimes it shoots you high that people begin to have a good and positive perception about you, and even admire your confidence, but either ways be ready for a good outcome or a bad one when you confront people especially if its someone that is of higher hierarchy than you may be at work or at home, that means you should be ready to have a thick skin and brace yourself for the effect of your confrontation. I will advise not to be found constantly challenging people in authority, maybe where you work or even in Church or the government, don’t be like those people that say ‘’yes we all freedom of speech, it’s my mouth, I will use it as I like, at least you can’t kill me etc, remember the bible says in Psalms 32:9

‘’ Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee’’.

Basically, all am saying is that one should know when to put forth a determined effort in facing challenges, and challenging oneself to be hardworking, learning new things, welcome new challenges and face them head on, don’t run away from new ideas, embrace them and learn from your mistakes. By doing so, you won’t live a boring life full of regrets and zero accomplishments, most especially follow your instincts and put forth a determined effort to succeed at the level you are in.

Regards,

DammyInspire..